When the Seeker Takes a Break

Verse 1
I wore the role of daughter
I wore the role of wife
I wore the role of worker
as I travelled through this life
I mothered and I partnered
I befriended and believed
and underneath the costumes
was the person I perceived

Then seeker wrapped around me
like a coat I couldn't shed
it followed every footstep
and it slept beside the bed
every moment was a question
every feeling was a clue
and every road was measured
by how close it brought me to

Chorus
When the seeker takes a break
what is left behind?
No enlightened character
no answer for the mind
just the kettle
just the rainfall
just the dog beside the chair
when the seeker takes a break
there is only what is there

No one missing
no one found
no final self beneath the ground
when the seeker takes a break
life keeps moving all around

Verse 2
I asked, “Who am I really
when the roles have fallen through?”
No mother and no neighbour
no profession left to do
no victim and no healer
no student of the way
no one making progress
towards a better future day

I waited for an answer
like a voice behind a door
a true and hidden identity
more permanent and pure
but nothing stepped to meet me
no deeper name appeared
just seeing, sound, and breathing
and the room already here

Verse 3
Then thought said, “This is something.
You have opened up a door.
You have seen behind the seeker.
You are different than before.”
It polished up the insight
and it placed it on a throne
then called itself the one who saw
the seeker was unknown

The claimant came so quickly
with a crown upon its head
and turned the living moment
to another path ahead
I laughed because the seeker
had returned in grand disguise
as the one who'd seen the seeker
and was now becoming wise

Bridge
Mothering when mothering
working when there's work
laughing when the laughter comes
and hurting when things hurt
seeking when the search appears
and resting when it ends
partnering and neighbouring
and talking with old friends

Where is the one who changes clothes
backstage beyond the light?
Where is the actor independent
of the role performed tonight?
A thought appears
a body moves
a memory plays its part
But no one waits behind the scenes
to make the drama start

Verse 4
I tried to catch the moments
when the seeker wasn't there
I monitored the washing-up
I watched myself in prayer
“Am I seeking now?” I wondered.
“Is this the roleless state?”
The seeker took the exercise
and stayed up working late

Then rain fell on the awning
and a truck reversed outside
cool air entered through the screen
and all the questions died
not forever
not dramatically
not because I found a key
the searching paused a moment

and life did not require me

Final Chorus
When the seeker takes a break
what is left behind?
No enlightened character
no answer for the mind
just the sweetness of a biscuit
just a hand upon the chair
when the seeker takes a break
there is only what is there

No one missing
no one found
no sacred silence, holy ground
when the seeker takes a break
life keeps moving all around

Final Verse
Nothing needs to happen
nothing needs to disappear
the seeker is a pattern
that can also happen here
let it ask a thousand questions
let it lean towards the light
let it turn the whole of Tuesday
to a test of wrong and right
And sometimes it grows quiet
without anyone's command
and no one finds a true self
where the seeker used to stand
there is only this old life here
ordinary, close and deep
while the role that wanted waking
has forgotten for a moment
what it came to seek

Outro
Mother
partner
worker
friend

roles begin
and roles can end

Seeker
teacher
lost and found

all are movements
passing round

No true actor
waiting there

just this life
already here

And when the seeker takes a break—

welcome home.

You never left.