When he was a boy, his grandmother used to say, “Careful — you’ll catch a chill.”
Every time the wind blew, he’d hunch his shoulders, brace against the imagined danger. A draft was not just air; it was threat.
He never questioned it.
Years later, at a seaside café, a friend leaned back in her chair and let the wind whip her hair. She closed her eyes and said, “God, I love a breeze — feels like the ocean’s breathing me.”
For a moment, he froze. The same wind. The same salt air. But where he had always felt the cue to protect, she felt an invitation.
That night, he lay awake, listening to the wind against the windows.
And for the first time, he wondered: What if the draft had never meant danger?
He began to notice other phrases.
The way his father used to sigh and say, “That’s just the way the world works” — and how it had quietly taught him not to try.
The way a teacher’s “You have potential” had shaped years of striving, always to live up to something half-imagined.
The way “failure” and “lesson” were often the same event, renamed according to who was speaking.
Language wasn’t just labels. It was training. Invisible scaffolding. Every word carried not just meaning, but direction — telling you what a thing was, and therefore, how to meet it.
One afternoon, in a crowded train station, he overheard a woman say into her phone, “It’s chaos here.”
He looked around. Yes, there were hundreds of people. Voices, announcements, clattering footsteps.
But next to him, a boy in a red jacket tugged his mother’s hand and whispered, “It’s like a giant river.”
Same scene. Same sounds. Two different worlds.
He realised then:
The world he lived in was not the one he saw. It was the one he named.
And those names were not facts. They were variations — often inherited, often unconscious, but absolutely perception shaping.
So he started playing with it.
When he was stuck in traffic, he stopped calling it “wasted time” and began calling it “a pause.”
When the rain came, he tried “cleansing” instead of “dreary.”
When he made a mistake, he tried “adjustment” instead of “failure.”
The events didn’t change. But the texture of his days softened, widened.
He wasn’t pretending bad things were good. He was seeing that the frame he gave them could either tighten like a fist or open like a window.
And the most startling thing?
Once a new frame had been used enough times, it began to feel natural. The word no longer needed repeating. The body’s reaction changed on its own.
The wind became a breeze. The draft became an exhale.
One evening, walking home past the old brick buildings, he remembered something his grandmother had once told him when he was very young:
“You have to learn to call a thing by its right name.”
Back then, he’d thought she meant the names in the dictionary.
Now he saw it differently.
There is no “right” name.
Only the name that shapes the life you end up living.
And with that realisation came a quiet kind of power — not the power to control the world, but the power to change the world you inhabit, by changing the language that builds it.
Investigative Exercise: The Language Frame
1. Catch the Label
Today, pick just one or two everyday moments where you feel even the smallest reaction — irritation, relief, dread, excitement.
Right after it happens, pause and listen for the word or phrase your mind uses to name it.
It might be:
“This is stressful.”
“That’s rude.”
“This is wonderful.”
“I’m bored.”
Don’t argue with it. Just notice the label.
2. Look for the Training
Ask yourself: Where did I learn to call it that?
Did someone else use that word for this kind of thing?
Is it from your family? Culture? A past experience?
Notice that the word is not the event. It’s an inheritance.
3. Try Another Frame
Without forcing positivity, experiment with a different word — one that might feel more open or less rigid.
Examples:
“Stressful” → “Challenging.”
“Boring” → “Quiet space.”
“Failure” → “Adjustment.”
“Rude” → “Unaware.”
You’re not trying to believe the new word. Just try it on, like a coat, and see how the body feels.
4. Sense the Shift
Notice if your body’s reaction changes.
Does the chest loosen? Does the jaw unclench?
Does the event feel slightly less solid?
Maybe nothing changes — that’s fine too. This is about seeing the link between word and world, not forcing a “better” world.
5. Repeat Until It’s Automatic
Each time you catch the old label and swap it — even just for a moment — you weaken the invisible chain between sensation and interpretation.
Eventually, you may not need a new word at all.
The event can just be… the event.
No label. No story.
Just happening.
6. Optional Deep Dive:
At the end of the day, write down a few of the labels you caught and the alternatives you tried.
Over time, you’ll start to see patterns in your inherited language — and with them, the outlines of the world they’ve been building for you.
The key isn’t to become fluent in new words.
It’s to realise that language is a painter’s brush, not a photograph.
And you can always choose a different shade.
For more pointers and suggestions, check out this link to vince-bot using the website as its knowledge base.
Vince Schubert YouTube Channel
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