It was just a passing comment. Not cruel. Not even aimed directly at me. But something in it landed like a hook, sharp and precise. My whole body flinched—so fast it was almost imperceptible. A tightening behind the ribs, a twist in the stomach, a subtle recoiling somewhere deep.
And then the thoughts. Cascading. Loud. Defensive. Justifying. Blaming. Silently, of course—but intensely. A familiar narrative sparked to life. They don’t understand. I’m being dismissed. They always do this. I’m alone here.
I could feel the storm building—not just in the mind but in the body. My neck stiffened, my shoulders rose slightly, breath shallowed. A sense of being under attack.
But nothing was happening.
There was just a sentence, and then there was this response.
I paused. Sat quietly. Brought my attention inward, not to the story of what was said, but to what was happening now. I didn’t need to figure out why it hurt. I didn’t need to know where it came from. I didn’t even need to label it as “hurt.”
I just started with the obvious. Sensation.
Where is it?
Across the chest. Dense. Squeezing. Like a fist curling inward. A vague heat, not burning, but active.
What does it feel like?
Tight. Heavy. Slightly shaky, as if the body were trying to hold something back.
Then I looked closer. Finer. Beneath “tight” was something jagged, like the flutter of wings trapped in a jar. Beneath “heavy,” a kind of stillness that almost wanted to disappear.
I let the words go. Let the labels dissolve.
And now I was in the middle of the experience. Not thinking about it. Just being in it.
The sensation moved. Shifted. There was a pulse behind it. Not a heartbeat, but a rhythm, like something opening and closing.
And in this presence, without analysis, something else became clear.
There was no me doing this. There was no self holding this together. The reactions had formed in the space before thought. Before “I.”
But the belief was there. Subtle, persistent: I have to do something. I have to manage this. I have to protect.
This was the shadow. Not a monstrous part of me hidden in the dark — but the automatic, conditioned movement that arises in defense of a self that was never actually here.
What I was protecting wasn’t an identity I could point to. It was a vague shape. A posture. A clutching toward control.
I didn’t need to go back to childhood. I didn’t need to dig for old wounds.
All I needed was to see this now.
This reaction. This flinch.
Not what caused it. Not the story around it. Not the content of the belief.
Just that there was a belief.
A belief in a self that was threatened. A belief in a me that could be undone by a few words.
I sat quietly. The sensation kept shifting. Some parts softened. Others sharpened for a moment. Then eased.
There was no resolution. No final clarity. No great insight.
Just this quiet knowing:
That the suffering didn’t come from the comment.
It didn’t even come from the sensation.
It came from the resistance. The reflex to pull away. The unconscious defense of a self-image that had been constructed out of habit and fear.
And here, in the quiet, that image started to tremble. Not shatter—just tremble.
Because I wasn’t fighting it. I wasn’t trying to fix it.
I was just here.
In the body.
With the sensation.
With the knowing that the only thing keeping the suffering alive was the belief that it was mine.
And that maybe, just maybe…
it wasn’t.
More on Shadow work
What is it?
Shadow work is the process of becoming aware of and integrating the unconscious or hidden parts of yourself—what Carl Jung called the “shadow.” These are traits, emotions, desires, memories, or behaviors that you’ve learned to suppress, deny, or disown because they were once deemed unacceptable — by family, society, or even your own developing sense of right and wrong. ..or even because when these things are activated an unpleasant emotion is generated.
Instead of being erased, these parts go underground and shape your thoughts, reactions, and relationships from the background.
It's a way to refer to that which is hiding in the shadows, not seen under normal circumstances.
From a traditional psychological perspective shadow work involves gently bringing them to light—not to get rid of them, but to understand them, accept them, and stop being ruled by them unconsciously.
From that perspective the intention is to stabilise the self that is destabilised by the suffering that is generated when this stuff gets triggered.
From the perspective of awakening, once the initial ‘shift’ has occurred it is recognized that there is no actual self to be stabilised. ..but that a shadow is triggered reveals a lingering belief in one. This is an opportunity..
Now, it seems like a common misperception is that this is something tangible that needs to be brought out into the light and eradicated.
But what this is actually is a belief that exists now. A belief that is responded to habitually.
I frequently say that it is sufficient to recognise that there is some belief there from before, and that is enough to change the habitual response to it into something else. But it's been pointed out to me that even this can be interpreted in such a way as to strengthen a Self.
We need to take a step back from this to recognise the implicit belief that there is a person, that there is a self that this is happening to or someone that this has happened to in the past or someone that needs to fix this.
The intention of this is to recognise whatever the belief is that we might label as a shadow is in fact a conditioned belief and that to simply see that, to recognise that it is conditioned opens the opportunity for deconditioning - in the present.
How do we do this?
We need evidence that there is a ’shadow’.
This will either be triggered by external circumstances or thoughts, as a memory.
Then we start by recognising that whatever occurred to generate that belief is operating NOW.
We dismiss the IDEA that we need to see the details of the origin.
We focus on the FELT connection to the tangible expression of the shadow. The SENSATIONS.
We investigate the sensation beyond the level where labels can be used to describe.
Once we are experiencing the experience of sensations, we look for any instructions or information of any kind inherent in the sensations.
When none is found, the sensation will start to dissolveas there is no longer a story keeping it alive.
At this point, the origin story will likely collapse with it. ..or not. If it doesn’t you can be certain that it will reappear when conditions are ripe to be triggered. It may or may not happen that the origin experience will reveal itself when we are experiencing the sensations intimately.
Inquiry: The Flinch Behind the Reaction
1. Begin with a recent moment of discomfort.
Recall a moment—not necessarily dramatic—when something someone said or did triggered a noticeable reaction in you.
It might have been a passing comment, a look, a tone of voice.
Pause and reflect: What happened?
What did you feel at the time?
2. Name the first obvious sensation.
Bring attention to your body right now, remembering that moment.
Where is the sensation? What does it feel like?
Use simple labels:
"Tightness in chest," "pressure behind eyes," "buzzing in stomach," etc.
3. Now get more specific.
Look closer at the sensation.
Not the thoughts about it, just the texture.
Ask:
Is it steady or pulsing?
Warm or cool?
Is there movement within it? Edges?
Does it expand or contract?
4. Let go of location. Feel only the sensation.
Now stop locating it in the body. Let it just be.
Let go of the idea that it belongs to a “me.”
It’s simply sensation, unfolding.
Rest here:
Is there actually a boundary between this sensation and awareness?
5. Ask: What was I trying to protect?
Return to the moment of reaction.
Without analyzing too much, gently ask:
“What part of me felt threatened?”
“What was I trying to hold together or defend?”
“Was I trying to appear strong, competent, unhurt, lovable?”
Don’t judge. Just notice what comes.
6. Ask: What part of me did I not want them to see?
This is where the shadow often hides—in what we are unwilling to reveal or feel.
“What felt unacceptable in that moment?”
“What trait or vulnerability was being hidden?”
7. Now ask: Is that part here now, or is it just a thought about me?
Drop into this question slowly. Let the answer arise from experience, not intellect.
8. Who is the one this is happening to?
Look for the "self" that is protecting, defending, reacting.
Can you find a solid entity behind the reaction?
Or is it just sensation + belief + thought?
9. Rest in this seeing.
There is nothing to fix. Nothing to purge.
Just the present unfolding. Sensation. Awareness. And the softening of belief.
Let the sensation be free of meaning.
Let it dissolve, or not.
Just witness.
For more pointers and suggestions, check out this link to vince-bot using the website as its knowledge base.
Vince Schubert YouTube Channel
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Clear, concise, brilliant!