Spiritual Bypassing
A definition, A story, & an exercise..
Spiritual bypassing is when spiritual ideas or practices are used to avoid dealing with difficult emotions, unresolved wounds, or uncomfortable aspects of human experience.
Instead of fully feeling grief, anger, shame, or fear, the person might say things like:
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“It’s all an illusion anyway.”
“I’m not identified, so this doesn’t affect me.”
“There’s no self, so who is suffering?”
While these statements might be technically true on one level, they’re sometimes used prematurely — to escape emotional discomfort rather than meet it directly.
In simple terms:
Authentic seeing allows all experience to arise and be met directly — including painful, messy emotions.
Bypassing avoids or suppresses those experiences using spiritual concepts as a shield.
Why it's tricky:
Bypassing can look like awakening, because the person can speak the language of nonduality, emptiness, or peace.
But underneath, there are still parts of their humanity left unintegrated — unfelt grief, unprocessed trauma, or unacknowledged wounds.
The healthy alternative:
True unfolding includes everything.
Even after seeing through self, old patterns may arise.
They aren’t wrong. They’re simply unmet aspects of experience asking to be seen.
In real awakening:
Nothing is excluded.
Everything is allowed to be felt fully.
There’s no need to hide behind teachings to avoid what hurts.
The Polished Mask
A story to illustrate bypassing…
Liam had read every book, attended every retreat, and could speak fluently about emptiness, nonduality, and the illusion of self. His words were smooth, his insights impressive. Friends often looked to him for guidance, admiring his calm and clarity.
But late at night, when no one was watching, something restless stirred inside.
He would feel it rise — a tightness in his chest, a heaviness in his gut. Old pain, old stories. The echoes of wounds never fully met.
When these feelings surfaced, Liam’s mind would quickly respond:
“There’s no self who suffers.”
“It’s all part of the dream.”
“This is just thought — no need to go into it.”
And for a moment, the discomfort would fade, as if soothed by these spiritual truths. But it never really disappeared. It simply withdrew — waiting.
Over time, Liam began to feel hollow.
Not free — numb.
Not peaceful — disconnected.
One afternoon, sitting alone in the park, the restlessness returned. But this time, something different happened. Instead of reciting the usual phrases, Liam paused.
He allowed the ache to rise.
He felt the weight in his stomach. The constriction in his throat. The unspoken grief sitting quietly under the surface.
For the first time, he whispered:
"It’s okay. You don’t need to be explained away."
The pain pulsed, raw and honest. It wasn’t dissolved by concepts.
It was simply allowed.
And with that allowing came something unexpected — not suffering, but warmth.
A kind of tenderness.
As if the part of him that had been bypassed for so long was finally being met, not silenced.
Liam saw it clearly:
The spiritual ideas weren’t wrong — but he had been using them to defend against life.
The very teachings meant to free him had become a shield against his own heart.
He realized: true awakening doesn’t avoid anything.
It includes everything.
Even pain.
Even fear.
Even this.
🌿 Practical Guide: Recognizing Spiritual Bypassing
🔎 Signs You Might Be Bypassing
Using spiritual concepts to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions.
Quickly jumping to:
“There’s no self.”
“It’s all an illusion.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”Feeling numb or disconnected rather than genuinely peaceful.
Avoiding difficult conversations or unresolved relationships by “transcending” them.
Dismissing personal wounds as irrelevant because “it’s all just story.”
🔎 Signs of Healthy Integration
Willingness to feel emotions fully as sensations — even when they’re raw.
Allowing discomfort to arise without fixing or escaping.
Seeing that awakening includes all of life — not just pleasant states.
Recognizing that “truth” doesn’t need to defend you from pain.
Speaking simply and humbly, without needing to sound “advanced.”
🧭 Gentle Questions to Ask Yourself
Am I trying to avoid feeling this?
What would happen if I allowed this sensation to be fully here?
Is this thought softening me, or hardening me?
Am I using this teaching to connect with life — or to escape it?
🌿 The Essence
Awakening is not freedom from your humanity.
It’s freedom within your humanity.
There is nothing you need to avoid.
Whatever arises, arises.
And all of it can be held in simple awareness — without defence, without story, without fear.
For more pointers and suggestions, check out this link to vince-bot using the website as its knowledge base.
Vince Schubert YouTube Channel
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