Creating that self..

A story about self creation.

I was sitting with others, saying nothing. But inside, a thousand movements. A glance from across the room. A silence after my comment. A subtle shift in someone’s tone. Each tiny moment—almost nothing—yet my body responded.

A flicker of tension in the chest. A slight contraction in the belly. I didn’t notice it at first. Just a vague sense of wrongness. Something was off. But when I gave it space—let the sensations speak—I could hear what was happening.

“She doesn’t agree with you.”
“You sound foolish.”
“You’re being judged.”

None of it was said aloud. But the sense of self was building fast, like a reflex. In milliseconds, I’d constructed a me: a me who is misunderstood, who needs defending, who might be wrong, who must be liked. The ego had arrived.

Not with fireworks, but with whispers.

And this is how it happens, over and over—moment to moment. A cascade of subtle contractions, like threads weaving a tapestry of self. One thought, one reaction, one twinge of discomfort or flash of pride. We become someone, just like that. Over and over again.

It’s so fast, we rarely see it.

But today, we talked about it. One person described how just the idea of being ignored could spark a whole self into being. Another noticed how the need to sound wise created a character that had to keep proving something. And another saw how every time they were praised, they tightened with the fear of losing it.

We weren’t judging it. Just seeing it. And in that seeing—something softened.

Because when these patterns are unconscious, they run everything. But when they’re noticed, they start to unravel. Not by force. Just by being witnessed.

We learned we didn’t have to fight the ego, or try to kill the self. We only had to be aware of the little ways it builds itself, again and again.

Each contraction, each reaction, each grasp at control—that’s where the self takes form.

And in the noticing, something else becomes possible.

Not a better self.

Just a moment of space.

A breath where no one needs to be anything.

A pause where the story doesn’t have to continue.

And in that pause: freedom.

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For more pointers and suggestions, check out this link to vince-bot using the website as its knowledge base.

Vince Schubert YouTube Channel

Free online meetups every Saturday at 9 pm (Sydney Australia time)
and one each Monday 7 am ( Sydney Australia time)
and each Wednesday at 4 pm (Sydney Australia time)
and every Friday 7 am (Sydney time) - never published.

You can check your local time here:

Or visit the website for countdown timers to each meeting.

Please note that it's always the same time on the same link. Arriving late and leaving early is fine.

Click here to Join Zoom Meeting https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86991485768?pwd=WkIvNk9zS1Q0VlVMR3lENW12Um5DQT09

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Audio files can be found here:

There is also paid 1on1 (& also 2 on 1) guiding here: With vince &/or Marius

Although the website still requires a lot of work, there are resources here; WakingUpWithVince.com

..and more here; WakingUpWithMarius

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..and remember - lots of little bits make a big bit. ❤️